I'm down with Exam fever and I guess this will run for another 10-15 years......

I realize, I have been blogging too much on Arshi,her school nowadays.Arshi,her school,her subjects have been the top priority these days after she has entered her P1.Our lives have changed  a lot these few months. Arshi's tests have started -one after other with some breaks here and there . Am feeling the pressure on me.I need some break.Looking forward for the holidays now itself.Then I say-It's only May now  and you still have a month of her school and Arshi has just now started her schooling.These exams really drive me crazy.P1-Textbooks,workbook,assessment book(which I have bought from bookshop),model question paper(from net searching for old school papers) .........All for a  Primary 1 kid and I still feel she isn't studying, she is taking frequent breaks  and she doesn't fare well in exams.Am I really expecting too much from my little girl or  is she really not faring well.She is studying but in a  playful way.Nowadays, I have realised, I have drastically cut down her playground time too .Maybe just because, she isn't getting full , marks, am I letting her down.I literally after every test paper being corrected and  given back to us for parents sign, I sit with her and ask for an explanation of all the wrong answers and she is accountable for them.When I keep thinking , I say to myself, Akila, you have  just stepped in the ocean and now itself you are afraid. Arshi is also shouting back if I shout at her .I need to control both our temper.Are we really test/exam driven people?Am I really stealing Arshi's childhood days from her.Sometimes, I do get guilty.I know, Arshi has to some extent adjusted to the school.Maybe it's time for me to adjust to be a  mother of  a P1 kid.Maybe I should cut down my expectation.I should teach her and shouldn't expect too  much from this little girl.Maybe let Arshi do what she can do in her exam.Maybe I should accept the reality that all kids can't be in the top when there are 30-40 kids in a  class and accept her as she is.And appreciate for the things she has done well.